kvothes:

some fun facts about the production of hamlet i’m in right now:

• the ghost never appears physically
• ghost scenes take place in complete darkness, lit only by the guards’ flashlights
• rosencrantz and guildenstern’s first entrance involves a tango choreographed to beyoncé’s “crazy in love”
• other transition music includes “applause” by lady gaga, “loveless” by lorde, “only angel” by harry styles, and “a little party never killed nobody”
• gertrude is either drunk or hungover for the entire play
• when polonius encounters hamlet to find the cause of his madness, hamlet is reading a copy of “infinite jest”
• rosencrantz and guildenstern try to seduce hamlet into a threesome
• they also try to seduce claudius
• at intermission laertes goes onstage to practice his swordplay and flirt with the audience members in french. osric watches him from behind the curtain and takes notes
• the pirates who deliver letters to horatio are dressed in trench coats, sunglasses, and fedoras
• fortinbras is a thirteen-year-old boy

and finally:

• hamlet doesn’t give the “to be or not to be” speech. horatio does. at the end of the play. over hamlet’s body